Parts of me

Yeah. Again, someone asked me why I did not update my blog. Sorry peeps. Oh well, what to update now?

Nothing in my mind now seriously except studies! I have been struggling for my second year of Diploma plus it is crucial and you know what? I am going to face my finals in 3 weeks time. Stressed! 

Some of you might want to know my updates about relationship. It will be a very long story if I would to tell it. To make things short, yes, let the picture tells the story.

Chek single bhai

Yeah. Have been quite some time I'm missing and not blogging. Sorry. No mood to blog so yeah. Oh well, I'm back to single again. I'm sure no one knows how I feel now. The one who gets hurt, ignore, abandon, and etc when I ask him where have he been all this while for not texting and calling me. The reason is he is busy with his job. Yes, I understand how busy you are but although you're busy, why can't you text me saying you're busy? Even a husband busy working do text or call his wife saying he is busy or overtime or whatsoever. Just to inform her so that she won't be waiting like a dummy. Guys, we girls, don't go for perfect love but true love.

When you love someone, you will listen and obey to whatever he says, do whatever he says, and just be his "servant". You won't scold or raise your voice when you talk to him but just advice and advice. But whether he listens to you, depends on him.

I always thought I have found my right one this time. But no! Tried and tried so many times but he decides to give up. If this problem between us happens in his marriage life, I assume he is going to give up on his wife as well.

A man which stress about finding a permanent job, gives up on his gf. 

ashgdnvcmxkjfoe

I love nagging. You don't like? Nevermind. Hahahaa. You ask me not to keep repeating myself. I try. Rse seksa btol. Aku xtau cmne nk describe perasaan aku skrg ni. Imma complicated now. Try not to think about it but still can't stop thinking. Damn! Arhhhh.. HELP!

For the first time I met you, you give me different feeling. A very special feeling. When we talk to each other, I feel like we knew each other for ages! I have no idea why. Before you told me more about you, I'm totally feel secure with you. Perhaps you're more mature than others. Different thinking, different hobby, different style of dating and etc. You color my life. You teach me many things. I find you're such an interesting person. I wanna know you more and more. Now I feel kinda lost and insecure. I try not to think too much cause that will only hurt myself. But I can't. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I always keep thinking about you. I've just realised YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I've promised you that I won't leave you and you, please don't leave me kay? 


p/s: Not in the mood of blogging. Merepek je ni. So bear with me. :)

The every first night that I cry before i go to bed because of you.

      "You choose me." he said.

      With this three words actually hurt me alot! I feel like i'm a rubbish which nobody wants and is like I force you to accept me all this while. Try putting yourself into my shoe. What if I say the same thing? You choose me, not I choose you. Which means that you got feeling towards me, but I don't have feeling towards you. This somehow can make you dump me whenever you want. Don't you think so?

      I feel so shame for myself now. I didn't know I'm the one who wanted to started all this till I saw your post saying I'm the one who choose you. I shouldn't have do so! Now being with you, I scared my parents, siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles and friends who know my family get to know that I have a bf. It is way easier for me to have no bf in my life for now. I don't have to worry this, worry that. Lying to my parents and etc. CAREFREE! By the way, it's hard to express my feeling now. So, Kay Bye.

      Starting from now on, I won't express my feelings towards anyone. I won't! For the next relationship, I will just sit down and wait for the special one come to me. NOT ME GO TO HIM! NEVER! 

p/s: if you love her, never let her sleep crying. ♥

Unexpected love that bring us together

      I think I can't please and beg you anymore. Looks like it doesn't work. What I really want to tell you is I really really love you. Although I make you disappointed for so many times, you still be there for me and never complain. You are unlike other guys. You're so precious to me. I am so sorry for what I have done to you all this while. I really really sorry. I have learned from failure. I fall and need someone to pick me up. Need you to be my side and guide me. You never fail me. You make me smile all day and I cry over you and think of you every night before I go to bed and sleep. I don't know what is true love till I met you. You are the one who never fail to love me no matter how hard the situation is. You tried your very best to take care of me BUT I always fail you.

      We can't clap with one hand. We need two hands to clap and there will be sound. So, you ask me to give you time and I promise you I give you time and think. I wish I could get back to you and I don't want anybody else BUT YOU! I don't dare to put too much hope on this problem now because the more I hope, the more I will get disappointed.

      From last month, I have already feel there is something wrong with our relationship. But I can't tell and can't figure out what is the problem. I feel like discussing what is our problem that makes both of us far apart but you seems to be busy with your exams. Therefore I shut my mouth and every night waiting for your sms is like waiting for micracle!!! I feel sad when you treat me like you don't care. So I do the same thing to you.

BUT NOW I REGRETTED FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE TO YOU. BECAUSE I WANT YOU BACK.

     

      We haven't go for our favourite pizza and haven't give you your birthday present. I keep it for months and the very last time you invite me out, I forgot to bring it. I am such an idiot. I have short term memory loss and need you to be my leader. Too much things to tell you now. If there is a chance I can get back with you, I will choose to share with you every single thing and never fail you anymore. I am not a playgirl, easily fall in love with someone. No one can melts my heart except you, bie.

Love, 
Shuyee your hun. ♥

      Ps: My instinct tells me you have like someone else.

     

Color you life with your spouse is a beautiful thing.

♥ Happy or not being with each other, all depends on how we both color our life ♥

     

      Whenever I can't sleep at night, I wanted to message you. BUT! Everytime when I pick up my hand phone, the first thing will come to my mind is "Hey Shuyee! Don't disturb him. He's sleeping. Tomorrow he got to wake up early to go to school." Sad isn't? What to do? Hubby boy need to sleep. He's a pig. Kuat tidur la kononnya.

      I don't message you that often. Most of the time, you are the one who start messaging me. BUT! When I'm frustrate, sad, stress and etc, I need you by my side. I don't dare to message you. WHY???? It's because I don't want to disturb you. I messaged you and you don't reply me sometimes. It hurts. Wait for your reply like nobody business. What about me? When you message me, I'll straight away reply your message. When I late reply your message, you'll call me. What is this man? C'mon. SAD! SAD! SAD! Sometimes I wonder am I doing the right thing. Never mind. Ignore me. Haha.

      Somehow, you've become part of my life now. Without you, I'll feel lonely. Hand phone no longer rings at times. You're the one that I adore because you're the perfect man to me. You told me you scared when I say you're perfect. Just because your ex told you you're perfect then she cheated on you and went off with other guy and this make you feel scared whenever your baby girl says you're perfect? You scared I'll do the same thing like what you ex did to you?  Should I tell you I understand your feelings? *thinking deeply*

      I ask you whether we should just break up instead of continuing our relationship and most of the time, you will ask me why? Let me tell you bie. I feel like I'm a dummy to you. Whenever you need me, you will find me. Where have you been when I need you the most? When I cry to you, you will ask me to calm down, chill and try to pujuk me. But tell you what. I always tell you I'm not okay and try to act sad happy in front of you.

      Alright peeps. No mood continue writing. Lazy plus I'm hungry.

Bie, I love you. :)

I love you, my honeyboo! You're so sweet! Hehehee. Just being random for now. 

Where were you when I need you the most?

 I seriously feel like giving up on you. I'm stressed. I wanna cry. I'm sorry.

Having you as my boyfriend is my pleasure? I can't give you an answer. Sometimes I feel happy being with you and sometimes I don't. I've tried to keep all my feelings to myself. Recently I found out that I'm just so emo because of you. I'm saying so because I feel that you don't care about me anymore and this really hurts me. You care about your friends more than I do. I feel so helpless now and everytime I emo, you will try to chill me down but you failed. Do you know whenever I'm emo it's because of you? When I'm emo, what comes to my mind is.......

“let's break up.”

Be my boy once again.

Sometimes whenever I see you, my heart melts because you're too cute. Although the hatred still there and I feel like punching you to express how much I hate you when you hurt me the most.

Everytime you're by my side, you only can accompany me and I'll be happy when you do so. I don't need a present or whatsoever to make me happy. What I need is just your caring, your love, your sayang, your support and etc. So please take care of me, sayang me, and of course don't ever hurt and disappoints me. I don't wanna get hurt anymore. It feels really bad. Sucks!

Reminiscing the past moments with you is a sweet dream. But now, it's a nightmare. I'm worrying you all the time. You're so caring that let me sleep and don't wake me up because you see me have a nice sleep. Awww~~ I'm such a pig. 

You stole my heart away.

Why must you stole my heart away? I don't know because of your friends are not online that's why you come and chat with me or whatsoever. I don't care what's the reason behind it because I just wanna chat with you BUT NO ONE ELSE. You keep telling me you want to meet me. You even make me say that I admire you, like you AGAIN. LOL. You even give me a kiss. *heart melts* *faint* You even want more from me! You want a warm hug! Awww~~~ So sweet of you. You asked me how long have we not been seeing each other. I can tell you hun, we haven't see each other for more than 3 months. Of course you always tell me to keep my promise and you will keep yours. Don't worry. I'll promise you I'll keep my promise till you take my promise away from me.

Last night, I broke down again. I don't know why. I can't even answer myself why. Then what make me the worst was this flirty bitch which was the same batch as me for some program, she try to seduce you and I see you happily comment on what she posted on your wall till I post " I wonder what makes me no mood right now. I can't even answer myself. I can only cry alone and seek to God. </3 :'(" and you stop commenting. Well well. I don't want to think too much. So went out for supper with friends and that's it.

Where have you been?

Where have you been when I need you the most? Where have you been when I'm weak and need someone to cry and lean on? Where have you been when I'm sick and need you to remind me take care of myself by putting cloth on my forehead? Where have you been when I need you to pamper me? Where have you been when I need you to cheer me up when I'm down but not other people keep cheering me up? Where have you been when I wanna dream of someone in my dream? Where have you been..............???????

Do you know that the prettiest smile I have will ONLY exist when I'm with you?

It's because you're the one who paint my life with beautiful colours. I realised that after the day we aren't together anymore, my prettiest smile no longer appear on my face. The one people sees now, perhaps is just pretending. People always quote that "Smile Is The Prettiest Make Up" . I believe that. I really do. 

OMG! OMG! OMG! I've gone mad!

Yesterday afternoon I woke up at 12.30pm and on my lappie. Was Facebook-ing then out of my expectation, you came and find me chat again! OMG! OMG! OMG! There's this word "syg" appear when I asked you whether have you eaten. OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!! I'm going crazy soon. I don't know what are you trying to do with me now. Trying to get back with me or just trying to be my close friend? I want an answer from you. Things just can't be hanging there for nobody's business.

BEWARE!!!

MAD WOMAN IN THE HOUSE!!!!

I need you now. Falling in love with you once again isn't a big matter. Falling in love with the others only is a big matter. Because I don't know how to love other people anymore except YOU.